Modern Romance | Aziz Ansari

Summary of: Modern Romance
By: Aziz Ansari


Welcome to the summary of ‘Modern Romance’ by Aziz Ansari, a book offering an insightful exploration into the evolution of love and relationships in contemporary society. Diving into topics like the influence of technology, the change in societal expectations, and shifting gender roles, this book highlights how modern romance looks different from the love stories of generations past. With this summary, you’ll learn about the reasons behind these changes, pitfalls to avoid in online dating, the importance of giving people a chance and how to approach relationships in the age of unlimited choices.

Love Then vs Now

In the past, love was found in proximity, at a younger age, and with parental approval. Nowadays, technology and travel have expanded our options, but changed our approach to relationships.

Love, like many aspects of life, has evolved through the generations. In the past, before the advent of mobile phones or widespread access to public transportation, people were more likely to find love in their immediate surroundings. They married at a younger age, often with the influence of their parents, and with a smaller pool of options. For example, in 1932, one out of every six people in Philadelphia married someone from their own block. One in eight married someone from their building.

Today’s technology has changed how we approach relationships. Planes, trains, and smartphones have allowed us to form serious connections with people all over the world, but at the cost of proximity. Couples are less likely to meet by living in the same area. Adults are getting married later in life when they’re more likely to have completed an education and formed their own interests. There’s less likelihood that parental opinions will sway the choice of who to marry.

While the options for love have expanded in current times, so too have the complications of relationships. The way we engage in romantic relationships may look different than it did generations ago, but the desire for human connection remains the same.

The Evolution of Marriage

In the past, people married due to societal pressure and for practical reasons such as financial stability and family support. However, modern couples seek something deeper, namely a soulmate who completes them. Gender roles have also evolved, allowing women to be more independent and men to stay home if they so choose. Marriage is no longer just about practicality, but rather finding a true partner in life.

The Pressure of Modern Love

Marrying for love is a romantic ideal, but it has its drawbacks. This book examines the societal pressures placed on individuals to find the perfect partner who can fulfill all their needs, from emotional support to sexual gratification. In the past, people had fewer expectations from their spouses and focused on stability and conforming to societal norms. Today, with apps like Tinder and a wider range of potential partners, the process of finding a suitable partner has become more complicated than ever before. People have the luxury of taking their time and wondering if there is someone better out there, which makes settling down difficult. While having access to more potential partners may seem like an advantage, it also puts undue pressure on individuals to make the “right” choice. This book highlights the challenges of modern romance and the impact of societal expectations on our search for love.

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