Untrue | Wednesday Martin

Summary of: Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity Is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free
By: Wednesday Martin


In our mobile book summary app, we explore the fascinating insights within ‘Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity Is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free,’ written by Wednesday Martin. Throw out the societal belief that women are naturally monogamous! Through this summary, you’ll discover that women are not inherently more monogamous than men and are just as likely to cheat. Delve into the ways the human body suggests women were designed for pleasure from multiple partners and learn about the historical and cultural factors that have shaped our beliefs about women’s sexuality and monogamy.

Women Cheat Too

Society’s Misconception Of Women’s Monogamy And Sexual Desires

The common belief that men are more likely to be unfaithful than women is a misconception. Women are just as likely to cheat as men. Society’s notion that women are naturally wired for monogamy is also incorrect. Studies indicate that women’s sexual desire decreases in long-term relationships and they are twice as likely to lose interest in sex than men. The idea that women cheat only for emotional connections and not sexual pleasure is also false. Women who use dating websites designed for married or attached individuals are mainly seeking sexual partners and not new romances. These misconceptions can be traced back to Charles Darwin’s belief that women had low sexual desires. However, research suggests that women’s sexual desires are not abnormal, and they are capable of similar sexual behaviors as men.

Women’s sexuality and monogamy

The design of the female body indicates that women are built for multiple sexual partners. Unlike men, women have the capacity for intense and repeated sexual pleasure, with the clitoris having over 8,000 nerve endings, making it far more sensitive than the penis. However, women take longer to climax, increasing their need for multiple partners. The cervix also filters and analyses sperm to separate the weak from the strong, suggesting that women are designed to have sex with different men. In contrast, men have larger testicles as their sperm has to compete with another man’s during intercourse. They also release a spermicide to kill off rival sperm.

Women’s Sexual Fluidity

Women are more sexually adventurous and fluid than men. Dr. Lisa Diamond’s 20-year long study with women showed that their sexual orientation didn’t limit who they were attracted to. Dr. Meredith Chivers found that straight women were aroused by various sexual couplings, suggesting that women are sexually fluid. This fluidity is not just limited to research labs but also exists in communities and traditions worldwide where women explore their fantasies with other women and have multiple sexual partners. This highlights the struggle of monogamy for women and how they seek different forms of pleasure.

Our Non-Monogamous Nature

Studying primate behavior reveals that our closest non-human relatives aren’t monogamous. Female monkeys, for example, are highly sexual and crave variety. Our natural inclination for non-monogamy may raise questions about societal perceptions of female sexuality.

Watching National Geographic and Discovery channels, one can notice similarities between primate and human behaviors. In fact, studying primates has long been established as a good way to learn more about ourselves, even in the case of sex and monogamy. Our closest non-human relatives, it turns out, aren’t monogamous.

Dr. Kim Wallen’s research on rhesus macaques at Emory University showed that female monkeys were highly sexual when given the chance and craved variety. Female monkeys roamed around actively seeking and demanding sex when placed in larger enclosures where sex wasn’t readily available, proving that the female species wasn’t as indifferent to sex as previously thought. Bonobos, who we share almost 99% of our DNA with, mate multiple times a day with a variety of partners, regardless of their sex.

If all of this evidence implies that humans are far from naturally monogamous, how did we end up with societal perceptions of female sexuality as passive, demure, and indifferent? The next part of the book delves into this question, but in the meantime, it’s worth pondering our natural inclination towards non-monogamy.

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