What Happened To You? | Bruce D. Perry

Summary of: What Happened To You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing
By: Bruce D. Perry


In ‘What Happened To You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing’, Dr. Bruce D. Perry delves into how childhood trauma shapes our brains and subsequently affects our lives. Exploring the importance of understanding the emotional impact of sensitized stress responses, the book offers insight into how positive regulation strategies and forming healthy relationships can alleviate the effects of trauma. Also unraveling the generational transmission of trauma and its societal implications, readers will learn how to bring healing to themselves and their communities through a comprehensive understanding of trauma-informed care.

Our Childhood Shapes Us

Oprah’s troubled childhood and the effect of trauma on brain development is explored in this book summary.

Oprah Winfrey’s childhood was marked by loneliness and neglect. Her mother was a teenage parent who lacked the resources to care for her daughter, resulting in Oprah being bounced from one family member to another, many of whom abused her. These experiences shaped her worldview and affected the formation of her brain.

The message of the book is that childhood experiences shape our brains in profound ways. The cortex, which is the rational part of the brain, takes years to develop, and trauma experienced by young children can be especially damaging. A baby’s brain is developing at a rapid rate, and every experience is logged in the brain as a personal “codebook” that can result in complex memories later in life.

The story of Samuel illustrates this point. After being physically abused by his father and cycling through foster homes, he began acting out at school until Dr. Perry discovered that Sam’s teacher wore the same cologne as his abusive father. It triggered traumatic memories that caused him to act out. Once his teacher changed his cologne, Sam’s behavior changed too.

The book stresses the importance of asking the right question when trying to understand trauma: “What happened to you?” Especially, what happened to you when you were very young? Deciphering your own personal codebook can help you understand seemingly inexplicable reactions and survival mechanisms.

In conclusion, our childhood experiences have a profound impact on brain development and shape our outlook on life. By understanding the impact of early trauma, we can better understand ourselves and our reactions to certain situations.

Trauma, Brain, and Healing

War veteran Mike Roseman’s traumatic experience revealed the importance of understanding how the brain processes trauma. Dr. Perry’s Neurosequential Model helps survivors tailor therapeutic approaches by addressing sensitized survival systems first. This regulation eventually allows access to the logical part of the brain.

Trauma, Dysregulation, and Positive Regulation Strategies

Oprah’s personal story on how learning positive regulation strategies are essential for dealing with trauma.

Oprah Winfrey’s journey to success was not an easy one. As a young journalist, she worked 100 hours a week and put her career above her health and well-being. She ignored her body’s signals and used food as a coping mechanism to numb her feelings. Her past trauma had trained her to be a people-pleaser, neglecting her own boundaries and needs.

The key message is that trauma survivors have been trained to ignore their body’s signals when out of balance and have not learned positive strategies for regulating themselves when stressed. Learning positive regulation strategies is essential for dealing with trauma.

Dr. Perry explains that everyone has an inbuilt self-regulation system made up of core regulatory networks (CRNs) designed to keep us in balance. These networks form a Tree of Regulation, comprising stress responses, relationships, and connections, and reward circuits.

When caregivers meet a child’s basic needs with tenderness and care, the child’s CRNs grow resilient, and the child acquires vital tools for regulating themselves as they grow up. However, if caregivers are inconsistent or abusive, a child’s Tree of Regulation becomes dysregulated. Dysregulation impairs stress responses, and the child becomes hypervigilant to their environment and panics easily. It also makes it difficult for the child to find positive ways to regulate themselves as they grow up.

Like Oprah, people who become dysregulated are more susceptible to addiction because the relief from distress feels good. Oprah learned to identify her stress signals, create healthy boundaries, and find healthy ways to soothe herself when distressed.

The lesson here is that positive regulation strategies are essential in dealing with trauma. Even if someone did not grow up with good regulation strategies, they can learn positive ways to get back into balance.

Healing through Rhythms

Our natural rhythms can help us heal from trauma. In the past, humans organized their lives around natural rhythms but today, it’s about eating anything at any time and living in a loud and arrhythmic environment which can be jarring for people with sensitized survival systems. Oprah Winfrey struggled with sensitized survival systems due to her violent past and had trouble sleeping. She overcomes it by calming her brain and getting back in touch with her own natural rhythms. Walking, dancing, and singing are all rhythmic activities that can help us regulate ourselves and deal with stress.

Learning to Love: A Key to Healing Trauma

Gloria, a young mother who grew up in foster homes, didn’t know how to love her daughter and was ostracized. The importance of forming positive relationships in healing trauma is highlighted. Gloria’s story shows that anyone can learn to connect despite not having experienced it before. Relational health is a bigger indicator of mental well-being than a history of trauma. Connections can mitigate the effects of trauma. Just as we can learn to play the piano, we can learn to love.

Want to read the full book summary?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Fill out this field
Fill out this field
Please enter a valid email address.
You need to agree with the terms to proceed