Dealing with People You Can’t Stand, Revised and Expanded Third Edition | Rick Brinkman

Summary of: Dealing with People You Can’t Stand, Revised and Expanded Third Edition: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst
By: Rick Brinkman


Welcome to the engaging summary of ‘Dealing with People You Can’t Stand’, a book authored by Rick Brinkman. In this summary, you will find practical strategies to manage and adapt to difficult personalities and situations. The book outlines different types of problem personalities, including Tanks, Snipers, Know-It-Alls, and Whiners. You will learn how to identify these character traits and apply communication techniques to effectively manage them. Get ready to take charge of even the most challenging personalities by learning to navigate the underlying reasons behind their behavior and discovering the best approach to handle them.

Dealing with Difficult People

Learn how to take charge of tricky personalities by implementing effective communication strategies. Gain control of your attitude and accept problematic individuals while using appropriate techniques to positively redirect their challenging behavior. By identifying their personality types and defusing their tendencies, you will be well equipped to handle any difficult individual in your life.

Spotting and Dealing with Problematic Personalities

“Every behavior has a purpose, or an intent, that the behavior is trying to fulfill.” This quote sets the tone for the book’s exploration of problematic personality types that can ruin the atmosphere of any workplace or social situation. From Tanks to Whiners, each type is thoroughly explained as well as techniques to neutralize their negative behavior. The author suggests watching for focused behaviors and listening to the volume and message a person delivers in order to diagnose their degree of aggression. By learning the criteria behind a problem person’s behavior, you can strategically modify your communications to gain their positive attention and feedback, making everyone’s life easier.

Managing Difficult Personalities

The key to dealing with obnoxious people is to use targeted methods that suit their specific negative personality traits. When someone crosses the line from obnoxious to offensive, it’s time to act. By understanding the range of negative behaviors and using the right techniques to diffuse them, you can take control of the situation.

Assertiveness in the Face of Criticism

Don’t let tanks dominate; Speak up!

The book advises against letting tank-like people dominate projects and conversations. When faced with criticism, individuals are encouraged to avoid acquiescing. Polite interruption is key, followed by returning to the main point and standing up for oneself in a respectful manner. The ultimate goal is to make a point that commands respect and does not allow tanks to overpower necessary discussion.

Overcoming Sniper Attacks

Learn how to successfully neutralize Sniper attacks by addressing specific criticisms and working towards a common goal. By doing so, you can prevent Snipers from undermining your work without damaging their own. This strategy allows you to stay focused on your goals and achieve success despite any opposition.

Know-It-Alls: Turning Them into Allies

Dealing with a know-it-all requires tact and preparation, but can be transformed into useful allies. Start by acknowledging their knowledge but prove them wrong with your facts. Use indirect arguments in a “what-if” format as a closing tactic. By approaching them as mentors, you can develop a thriving career while learning from their experience.

Neutralizing Attention-Seekers

The ‘Think-They-Know-It-All’ is a type of person who seeks attention. To neutralize them, ask for specific proposals and provide honest feedback. By exposing the weakness of their ideas, their need for attention diminishes.

Dealing with Outbursts

Shift power and diffuse the situation to handle outbursts in the workplace. To do this, get their attention, determine the cause of the outburst, express sympathy, and make a follow-up plan. By following these steps, confrontations can be resolved and future dramas can be avoided.

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