How to Be Love(d) | Humble the Poet

Summary of: How to Be Love(d): Simple Truths for Going Easier on Yourself, Embracing Imperfection, and Loving Your Way to a Better Life
By: Humble the Poet


Welcome to the enlightening journey of ‘How to Be Love(d)’. In this book, Humble the Poet encapsulates valuable wisdom about the essence of love in our lives. The book serves as an eye-opener, inviting readers to move away from the notion of love as a destination and embrace love as a beautiful path of growth and self-development. Here, you will find crucial distinctions between ‘Small L’ love and ‘Big L’ love, as well as insights on how to love yourself, cultivate honesty, and integrate emotions for a wholesome life experience. Get ready to embark on a transformative expedition that will change the way you perceive love and its presence in your world.

The Path of Love

In our society, love is often portrayed as the ultimate goal in life. It’s seen as the finish line, and once we get there, we’re supposed to feel complete. However, psychologist Robert Holden argues that this is a fallacy. Love, much like happiness, isn’t a destination; it’s a path.

There are two types of love: Small L love, which is like a treat, and Big L love, which is like a nutritious meal. Small L love is easy to acquire, but Big L love is what everyone truly desires. It’s the kind of love that gives us peace and connection, and it requires regular, deliberate, and ongoing effort to sustain.

To cultivate Big L love in our relationships, we need to have honest communication with ourselves and others. We need to reflect on what we truly want and how our partners can help us meet those needs. But more importantly, we need to make a conscious effort to love our partners in the way they want to be loved. Because in the end, we only feel as much love as we give.

Accessing the Ocean of Love

Love isn’t limited to a specific person – it’s an ocean that spills all over the place. Instead of seeing people as causes of your love, consider them access points to the love that surrounds you. It’s up to you to access it. To receive more love, you must practice accessing it, starting with loving yourself. Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend and prioritize your relationship with yourself. Practicing self-love can become a template for how to love others, resulting in a virtuous cycle of giving and receiving love.

Secrets and Love

We all have secrets, but holding onto them can lead to negative emotions and a sense of isolation which blocks access to love. Being honest with ourselves and living according to our values can dissolve our egos and nourish our souls. Being honest doesn’t mean sharing every secret with everyone, but rather recognizing the difference between feeding our ego and our soul. By sharing our deepest secrets with even just one person, we can feel less alone and open ourselves up to more love.

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