How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less | Nicholas Boothman

Summary of: How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less
By: Nicholas Boothman


Have you ever wondered what secrets lie behind instantly connecting with people and winning them over? In the book ‘How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less’, Nicholas Boothman unpacks these mysteries and offers effective tips to build rapport and bond with others. The book summary delves into the world of body language, teaches how to create a welcoming environment, and the importance of initiating conversations with open-ended questions. It also explores the concept of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) and how to synchronize with others. This introduction sets the stage for readers to learn everything they need to know on their way to becoming likable and skilled conversationalists.

The Power of Bonding

From the plains of Africa to the modern-day, humans have always had a profound desire to connect with others. Strong social ties not only contribute to our well-being and increase our lifespan but also play a significant role in our success and achieving our dreams. However, making new connections can be challenging, especially when we have no shared interests. Fortunately, it is possible to kindle connection in under 90 seconds, and in the following parts, we’ll learn the essential skills needed to do so.

Impressions Formed: Before You Even Speak

The first impression is not about what you say but how you present yourself. The way you position your body, make eye contact, and smile can establish a connection with someone even before you introduce yourself. To show openness, position your body with your heart directed toward them, make direct eye contact, and smile genuinely. Introduce yourself with a simple greeting and encourage them to do so as well. Repeat their name to help you remember it. Lean slightly toward the person to show interest, and either offer a handshake or keep your hands by your sides. Remember that the first impression is vital in establishing a connection with others.

Building Rapport by Design

To establish a natural connection with someone, you need to focus on shared interests. But if you don’t have any common ground, you can build rapport by design, starting with the right attitude. A useful attitude is goal-oriented and positive, while a useless attitude is negative and passive. By adopting a useful attitude, your body language and facial expressions become more likable, making it easier to connect with others. To do this, decide your end goal for each conversation and focus on a desired positive outcome. This way, you’ll automatically adopt the body language and smile that will make you more likable and endear you to those who can help you achieve your goal.

The Power of Effective Body Language

Body language can be split into two categories – open and closed. Open body language helps to build trust and facilitate communication while closed body language typically signals resistance and nervousness. It’s not just about your body; your facial expressions matter too. To build credibility, it’s essential to align what you say, how you say it, and the signals your body sends. Inconsistencies will harm your credibility and create awkwardness. With effective body language, you can establish a strong connection with others and improve mutual trust.

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