Professional Troublemaker | Luvvie Ajayi Jones

Summary of: Professional Troublemaker: The Fear-Fighter Manual
By: Luvvie Ajayi Jones

Introduction

Embark on an empowering journey of self-discovery with Luvvie Ajayi Jones’ ‘Professional Troublemaker: The Fear-Fighter Manual’. This book summary will guide you through the process of embracing your authentic identity and leveraging it as a source of strength and resilience. Learn to challenge societal pressures that ask you to change essential aspects of your personality through insightful anecdotes and strategies. Get inspired by the Yorùbá people and their tradition of oríkì, and unlock the power of genuine honesty and kindness in your interactions. Realize the importance of relationships and delegation to achieve a balanced life. This summary will help you become the best version of yourself while staying true to who you are.

Embracing Your Authentic Self

It’s common to fear being our true selves because we worry about society’s harsh judgment. However, knowing and embracing our authentic selves brings stability and resilience. Developing a strong sense of identity and creating a personal hype mantra, inspired by the Yorùbá people’s tradition of oríkì, can help us feel grounded and affirmed even during challenging times.

Embrace Your “Too Muchness”

Don’t betray yourself to please others when it comes to your personality. “Too muchness” can be your superpower in the right circumstance. To determine if criticism is valid, ask yourself if the trait is stifling personal growth, harming others, or if the critic has your best interest.

Have you ever been told that you’re “too much”? Maybe you’re too loud, too sensitive, or too bossy. It’s not just an observation; it’s a request for you to change. Unfortunately, giving in to this request may result in self-betrayal. The problem is that you’re being asked to tone down an essential part of yourself. The key message is to embrace your “too muchness” when it comes to your personality.

You may be wondering why you go against your true nature to satisfy others. The reason is to please them, but that’s not a good enough reason to change who you are. Your personality should not be dictated by others. Instead, you should be true to yourself. If you’re being asked to change, consider whether the trait is stifling personal growth or harming others. If not, keep your “too muchness” as it can be your superpower in the right circumstance. Your job isn’t to shape-shift for others but to be yourself.

Beyoncé is a great example of someone who is too much. Her glittering outfits and gregarious personality are precisely her stock in trade. Her excess is what makes her Beyoncé. Similarly, every “too-muchness” is a superpower in the right circumstance. If you’re too sensitive, you may have high emotional intelligence. Being too loud or bossy may make you the life of the party.

However, there are times when the “too much” criticism is valid. If a trait is stifling personal growth or harming others, it’s time for self-reflection. If someone is criticizing you, consider if they have your best interest at heart. If the answer is no, ignore their criticism and keep being you.

Embracing Honesty

The book encourages honesty even in uncomfortable situations, acknowledging that there may be consequences, but emphasizing the importance of speaking up. The call to honesty is not universal, as some people are disproportionately punished for telling the truth. The author suggests using questions to prompt people to examine their biases, and emphasizes that honesty should always be accompanied by good intentions, self-reflection, and clarity of defense.

Let Go of Control

Do not bear the entire workload yourself. It’s time to let go of the fear of delegating, being dependent, and asking for help. Fire yourself and let others pick up some of the slack. Remember that not everything in the world is your responsibility. Overcome the guilt of not being able to do it all and forgive yourself.

Do you feel scared when you lose control? Do you often imagine the worst when things are out of your hands? It’s okay to feel like that sometimes, but taking on too much responsibility is not a sign of strength; it’s a sign of fear. If you’re afraid of delegating, being dependent, and asking for help, you need to get over it.

The key message here is simple – don’t bear the entire workload yourself. It’s time to fire yourself from the jobs you do because you’re afraid of relinquishing control. Let someone else do them. If you’re the type who bites off more than you can chew, there are probably people in your life who can pick up some of the slack. Your kids can clean the dishes, and your colleague can make the phone call if you have bigger fish to fry.

One of the most challenging things about sharing your workload is the guilt that creeps up. You may have internalized the notion that you should be able to do it all. That’s not true. Nobody can do it all, and nobody needs to. Not even you. Remember that not everything is your responsibility. Life may be a group project, but no one designated you team leader.

If you feel like you need to take responsibility for everything in your world, it might be tough to start sharing responsibility. However, the first step is to forgive yourself. It’s okay that you can’t do everything. Letting go of control may seem scary, but it’s worth it.

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