The Dreamer and the Fantasy Relationship | Natalie Lue

Summary of: The Dreamer and the Fantasy Relationship
By: Natalie Lue

Introduction

In ‘The Dreamer and the Fantasy Relationship,’ Natalie Lue explores the complex world of romantic fantasies and relationships with unavailable men, shedding light on the reasons why some individuals find themselves drawn to problematic partners. The book provides an insightful look into varying types of fantasies, delusions that emerge from dreamers, and the ultimate understanding of why they keep pursuing unattainable relationships. This summary offers an engaging and practical approach for readers to identify their own patterns, change their behaviors, and find healthier ways of approaching relationships.

Mixed Messages in Relationships

The author discusses the behavior of men who lead women to fantasize about a future that will never happen. These men promise a lot but deliver very little. The author identifies two tactics that these men use: fast forwarding and future faking. Fast forwarding involves rushing the initial stages of a relationship through text and moving towards intimacy quickly. The author cautions that this behavior is a ploy to make women believe they have inspired an extraordinary passion. Future faking involves dangling an idealized future in front of a woman like a carrot to keep her interested. The author warns that such men may not even mean to be deceitful but the end result is the same; disappointment and more fantasies. Women need to recognize the signs and avoid investing in such iffy relationships.

The Problem with Romantic Fantasies

Romantic fantasies often blind us from reality. While not all dreams are the same, most fall into a few common categories. Virtual relationships and crushes can become unrealistic when not acted upon, but infidelity fantasies can be the most problematic. We must learn to distinguish between our romantic dreams and the harsh reality of our relationships.

The Three Factors that Keep You Chasing Bad Relationships

Do you find yourself in bad relationships over and over again? The key message of this book summary is that three factors contribute to this behavior: exaggeration, projection, and hooks. Exaggeration and projection work together to make Mr. Unavailable seem like the perfect partner, while hooks focus on his strong points. However, all of these factors distract you from evaluating the relationship objectively. By understanding these tendencies, you can break the cycle of bad relationships and find a partner who truly makes you happy.

Unveiling the Mystery Behind Our Love Life

Why do some people always seem to make the wrong choices in relationships? Why are they attracted to those who are not available? Well, the answer might surprise you. According to the book, Dreaming about unavailable men satisfies your own insecurities. If you’re frequently drawn to flimsy relationships with unavailable men, it’s probably because they’re all you can handle right now. The book contends that dreamers fear intimacy, just as unavailable men do. By opting for Mr. Unavailable, you’re opting for a distant, fantasy relationship – one without the risk of real emotions. The book suggests that if you want to go beyond that, it’s time to accept your vulnerability, not hide it.

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