The Path Between Us | Suzanne Stabile

Summary of: The Path Between Us: An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships
By: Suzanne Stabile


Embarking on a journey towards healthier relationships, ‘The Path Between Us’ by Suzanne Stabile offers a comprehensive insight into how Enneagram personality types can affect our interactions with others. The book explores each of the nine Enneagram types, delving into their unique traits and tendencies, and offers guidance on how to nurture connections between these diverse personalities. Readers can anticipate an enlightening exploration of how to better understand oneself and others, strengthening relationships through increased empathy and self-awareness.

Understanding the Perfectionist Personality Type

People with the One Enneagram personality type are known as Perfectionists. They have a critical inner voice that makes them feel like nothing they do is ever good enough, leading to low self-esteem and constant striving for perfection. Although they are hard workers and always try their best, they tend to alienate others with their need for control and intolerance of imperfection. If you are a One, it’s important to accept that others may have different standards of perfection and understand that you can’t change their worldview. If you are in a relationship with a One, show them that they are good enough and try to be gentle with them since they are often exhausted from battling their inner critic.

The Twos’ Need to be Needed

Twos, also known as Helpers, crave to be needed. They want to help everyone they meet, but not everyone wants a relationship with them. Reciprocity is essential for healthy relationships, so Twos should learn to receive as well as give. For those in a relationship with a Two, reassure them that you love them for who they are, not what they do for you. Let them know that you may not always need them but want them in your life.

The Driven Performers

The Three personality type strives to achieve success in all areas of life while putting less emphasis on emotions. Also known as Performers, they thrive on being in control and staying productive. However, their relentless pursuit of goals often causes them to neglect their authentic selves and relationships. As a Three, it’s crucial to slow down, prioritize relationships, and separate self-worth from achievements. Those in a relationship with a Three should communicate their emotions upfront and focus on the future.

The Melancholic Romantic: Understanding the Enneagram Type Four

The Enneagram Type Four, also known as the Romantic, poses a challenge for people to understand due to their complex nature. They have a desire to express their authentic selves, making it hard for them to pretend to be something they are not. As a result, they tend to feel a sense of lack in their lives, especially a feeling of belonging. They are unique and special, which makes it hard for them to identify and connect with others. They often find solace in expressing themselves through art and music. Fours are prone to melancholy and have intense emotions, making their moods unpredictable. However, they cherish deep relationships, even if they have a close association with a few people. If you are in a relationship with a Four, understand that their moodiness can affect you, but they still value your love. Lastly, it’s natural for Fours to have a sense of longing, and it’s not your job to fix it, just be there to support them.

The Investigator: Knowing the Five personality type

If you’re the type to constantly search for resources, be it time, money, or information, and want to be self-reliant, you might fit into the Five personality type. Known as “The Investigator,” the Five prefers thinking over feeling and avoids messy emotions, as they threaten their planned life with as little spontaneity as possible. While Fives love knowledge, they avoid vulnerability as they feel it makes them dependent on others. Relationships are a challenge for Fives since they’re suspicious of them, making it tough for them to offer their time, affection, and energy. If you’re in a relationship with a Five, remember to give them time to process conversations and not force them to be too spontaneous. If you’re a Five, remember that emotional investment is necessary to maintain healthy relationships.

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