Girl, Wash Your Face | Rachel Hollis

Summary of: Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are so You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be
By: Rachel Hollis


Welcome to the summary of ‘Girl, Wash Your Face,’ where author Rachel Hollis helps you realize the importance of keeping promises to yourself, pursuing your dreams relentlessly, and embracing the chaos of life. In this enlightening guide, Hollis emphasizes the need for self-love, patience, and the value of a diverse community. Read on to learn how transforming your mindset and setting realistic, tangible goals can lead to positive changes in your life and help you become the person you were meant to be.

Keeping Promises to Yourself

We often have a habit of breaking promises made to ourselves, just like an unreliable friend. This frequent letdown actually damages our trust in ourselves. By making realistic commitments and sticking to them, we can train our minds to achieve better self-expectations and ultimately a more rewarding life.

Ever promised yourself to go for a run, only to abandon the idea for a happy-hour cocktail instead? Or gotten excited about learning French but lost interest after a few classes? We frequently break promises made to ourselves, and it’s important to realize the impact of such behavior.

Imagine a hypothetical friend named Pam who constantly cancels plans at the last moment, using flimsy excuses like, “I can’t meet for tennis because I need to watch another episode of this Netflix show.” Pam also frequently says she’s starting a diet but is soon caught devouring a pepperoni pizza with a large coke. You would probably become frustrated by Pam’s unreliable behavior.

But when we break our own promises, like skipping that run or French class, we treat ourselves just like Pam would. Though it may not seem significant at the time, these broken promises undermine our own self-trust.

To counter this pattern, focus on forming a habit of keeping promises to yourself. Start by making them attainable. For example, if you want to run a half-marathon, don’t immediately commit to signing up and completing one. Instead, promise yourself to run one mile a day, four times a week – a more achievable goal. Once you prove yourself capable, you can incrementally increase your commitment, like running two miles four times a week.

By consistently keeping promises to yourself, you’ll train your mind to meet higher expectations, enabling yourself to more easily fulfill future commitments. So, strive to keep those promises, and avoid turning into a disappointing “friend” like Pam.

No Dreams Denied

The secret to success lies in never accepting “no” as an answer while pursuing your dreams. In a world where people often let fear or the opinions of others dictate their paths, it’s important to stay committed to your goals, even in the face of multiple rejections. Success stories of acclaimed individuals such as Julia Child and James Cameron demonstrate the significance of patience and persistence in achieving greatness. So, when chasing your dreams, do not be deterred by setbacks or negative feedback; keep believing, and never take “no” for an answer.

The key to the author’s success was her unwavering determination to achieve her dreams despite repeated rejections. She fought against publisher demands to change the core of her work and found success by remaining true to her vision. Like her novel, Party Girl, which has sold over a hundred thousand copies, great accomplishments are possible when you refuse to compromise on your dreams.

Many aspiring achievers falter due to impatience, choosing to abandon their dreams when progress appears slow. However, major accomplishments require time and resilience. Julia Child took ten years to write her iconic book, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, which remains a bestseller even today. Similarly, James Cameron’s groundbreaking film Avatar was 15 years in the making, ultimately becoming the highest-grossing movie of all time.

Both Child and Cameron faced their share of skeptics and setbacks, but they never gave up. Instead, they persevered and achieved remarkable success because of their steadfast devotion to their dreams. It’s essential to remember that the path to success is often long and arduous, demanding not only talent and hard work but also unwavering belief in oneself and one’s dreams.

As you embark on your own journey toward greatness, remember that every rejection or delay is a test of your resolve. Taking “no” for an answer is easy, but true success belongs to those who refuse to give up on their dreams. Overcome obstacles, ignore naysayers, and embrace your ambition; you too can achieve the unthinkable.

Unlocking Exceptional Intimacy

An initially unsatisfying sex life can be transformed by embracing one’s body, focusing on female orgasms, and committing to having sex every day for a month. These deliberate actions will lead to stronger connection, experimentation, and a more satisfying experience for both partners, making sex a vital and exciting part of their lives.

When the author began her journey of marital intimacy, she had virtually zero experience with sex. With no real education on the subject and out of touch with her sexuality, she reluctantly agreed to sex but never truly embraced it. Her lack of enthusiasm affected both her and her husband, who found their intimacy lackluster. Today, however, their sex life is nothing short of extraordinary, and they enjoy more physical intimacy than one might expect from a busy mother of four.

So, how did they manage this transformation? First, the author learned to accept and love her body. Feeling insecure in one’s naked form can ruin the ability to enjoy sex. It’s important to understand that your partner is excited by your intimacy and isn’t focused on your perceived imperfections. To overcome insecurities, try practicing positive self-talk, affirming your attractiveness and sexiness. Eventually, you’ll start to believe it.

Next, the author prioritized orgasms – specifically, her own. Female orgasms are not mere “cherries on top” of sex, they are the main course! By committing to have sex that always includes her orgasms, the author and her husband became more focused on mutual pleasure. This led to a much more fulfilling and enjoyable experience for both.

Lastly, the author committed to having sex every day for a month, with no excuses. This challenge allowed her and her husband to experiment and try new things in their intimate life. Surprisingly, they also discovered that the more sex they had, the more they desired each other’s company. So, whether it’s a “sexy September” or a “naughty November,” committing to a month of daily intimacy can help create lasting habits that reinvigorate and strengthen your relationship.

Embrace the Chaos

Life is full of chaos, especially for busy moms, and it’s important to know how to navigate it effectively. Instead of trying to control the chaos, embrace it. Laugh at absurd situations and accept help when it’s offered. Remember, it’s easier to swim with, instead of against the tide.

As a mom, you’ve likely experienced the chaotic twists and turns life can throw your way. Sometimes, it’s difficult not to feel overwhelmed. Despite the urge to fight against it or see chaos as a symbol of personal failure, the truth is that you can’t control everything, only yourself. To better manage life’s unpredictable moments, embrace the chaos instead.

Start by looking for humor in those chaotic situations. There was a time when the author and her husband were going through the certification process to become foster parents. A social worker was interviewing their children when their son shared a story that threatened to not only derail their chances of fostering but also potentially have their existing children taken away. Luckily, the story was merely a misunderstanding, but the moment taught them the power of laughter in an otherwise tense situation. So, when chaos arises, remember that the more ridiculous the circumstances, the more humor you can find.

Another crucial step in embracing chaos is accepting help from others. Think about the anecdote of the man who refused help from three different people while drowning. He claimed that God would save him, and he ended up dying. In heaven, God told him, “I sent you three life rafts!” Keep this message in mind when help is offered to you, whether it’s your mother-in-law providing childcare or your spouse assisting with laundry. Saying yes to these “life rafts” will make navigating the chaotic waters of life much smoother. Don’t let pride or perfectionism prevent you from accepting help. Embrace the chaos and you’ll find yourself more resilient and better equipped to handle whatever life has in store.

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