Sacred Cows | Danielle Teller

Summary of: Sacred Cows: The Truth About Divorce and Marriage
By: Danielle Teller

Introduction

Dive into the world of ‘Sacred Cows: The Truth About Divorce and Marriage’ by Danielle Teller, where we uncover the underlying cultural assumptions influencing our perception of marriage and divorce. These ‘sacred cows’ persist as unquestioned facts, making it difficult to scrutinize the true nature of the institution of marriage. In the following summary, we will introduce you to several sacred cows, such as the Holy Cow, the Expert Cow, the Defective Cow, and the Innocent Victim Cow. By questioning and challenging these characters, we can better understand their roles in perpetuating dogmatic views on marriage and open up conversations about individual happiness and choice within relationships.

Challenging Sacred Cows in Society

The concept of sacred cows is prevalent in society, where some beliefs are held as facts and are challenging to dispute. This notion became prevalent during the time when people believed that the world was flat. Those who challenged these beliefs were harshly criticized. Galileo is one of them who challenged multiple facts and was heavily criticized. Similarly, society has regarded marriage and divorce as a dogmatic view. If someone gets divorced, they are considered disloyal, irresponsible, or defective. This view of marriage needs to be challenged. Married people are thought to be responsible, logical and caring, and divorce threatens these norms. America is filled with people who propagate the sacred cow of marriage. This belief is propagated by the Holy Cow, the Expert Cow, the Defective Cow, and the Innocent Victim Cow, to name a few. These myths need to be busted.

Overcoming the Holy Cow

The Holy Cow is a conservative dogmatist who believes in the sanctity of marriage and despises divorce. He views divorce as a sign of individual weakness and selfishness, and tries to depict divorcees as non-conformist and out of sync with society. However, this view is flawed and unrealistic. No one can predict how feelings will change over time, and promising to love another person “till death do us part” is not a realistic expectation. The Holy Cow’s perspective is hindering individuals from making choices that suit their happiness. It’s time to overcome the Holy Cow and embrace the reality that change is inevitable in life.

Beware of the Expert Cow

In relationships, it’s crucial to recognize when expert advice isn’t genuinely helping. The Expert Cow is someone who gives one-size-fits-all advice that caters to their own agenda instead of focusing on your well-being. This can be a marriage counselor or a self-help book. When seeking help, it’s important to consider your desires and not blindly follow the Expert Cow’s principles. This is because self-examination helps alleviate marital distress. Hence, before seeking help, you must work out your desires to determine the best approach for you. If what’s troubling you is your partner’s selfishness and lack of support, then seeing a therapist who specializes in reigniting the physical passion may not be the solution. Overall, remember that there’s no one-size-fits-all advice, and it’s essential to stay true to yourself and not be misled by the Expert Cow.

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