Women Who Love Too Much | Robin Norwood

Summary of: Women Who Love Too Much: When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He’ll Change
By: Robin Norwood

Introduction

Embark on a journey of self-discovery and healing with the book summary of ‘Women Who Love Too Much: When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He’ll Change’ by Robin Norwood. This insightful exploration delves into the world of women who develop obsessive feelings for emotionally unavailable men, mistaking these obsessions for genuine love. Learn about the detrimental impact of this toxic behavior on one’s emotional well-being and how childhood experiences play a crucial role in perpetuating these patterns. The summary highlights key themes such as the type of men who fit the bill, the tactics that women who love too much employ to win affection, and the vicious cycle of dependencies in these relationships.

Loving Too Much

The book speaks to women who develop obsessive feelings for men and wrongly label it as love. It uses the story of Jill, a woman who couldn’t let go of Randy despite his indifference, to illustrate what it means to love too much. Such women equate love with pain, and they believe the more it hurts, the more genuine it is. Their obsession controls their behavior and emotions, and they find it challenging to walk away even when they understand the negative impact on their emotional health.

The Tragic Love Story

Women who love too much are often attracted to emotionally unavailable men due to unresolved childhood issues with their fathers.

What kind of man becomes the object of such lavish attention, commitment, and obsession? The answer lies in his emotional unavailability. Women who love too much are typically attracted to men who are cold, distant, and emotionally unavailable. Unfortunately, these men are often emotionally dysfunctional and married to someone else. Women who love too much focus their attention on men who are addicts of some kind, finding themselves drawn to alcoholics or drug addicts. This is because addicted men are also emotionally unavailable and have little capacity to strike up a meaningful relationship.

Oddly enough, the reason why women who love too much go for such wholly unsuitable men lies in their childhood. These women grew up with a father who barely, if ever, expressed love or affection for them. As a result, they have unresolved feelings of doubt about their father’s love for them. As adults, they subconsciously seek men who exhibit the same sort of emotional coldness or unavailability that their fathers did. They hope to win the affection of an emotionally unavailable man and finally prove to themselves that they are worthy of the love their fathers denied them years ago.

In conclusion, women who love too much have unresolved issues that they seek to fix by finding an emotionally unavailable man. This heartbreaking pattern of behavior stems from an unfulfilled childhood desire for affection and the need to prove one’s worth.

Love vs. Sex

Meet Trudi, a woman who loves too much and resorts to using sex as a way to win men’s love, only to be met with rejection. Trudi’s obsession with sex stems from her desire for validation through the satisfaction of her partners. However, despite her efforts, her lovers remain emotionally unavailable, leading to failed relationships.

Women Who Love Too Much: A Vicious Cycle

This book delves into the relationship between addiction and the women who love too much. For some of these women, their addictive behavior runs deeper than bad relationships. They find themselves addicted to other substances, such as drugs, alcohol, or sugary foods, in order to numb their deep-seated childhood issues and escape reality. The problem is that as their negative feelings intensify, they become more desperate for reassurance from their partners, who are often emotionally unavailable. This results in a vicious cycle of substance abuse, bad relationships, and rejection. Brenda’s story is a perfect illustration of how women who love too much can spiral out of control when a partner is added to the mix. She struggled with obesity and eating disorders, marrying an unfaithful alcoholic who resembled her father, and ultimately resulting in her being arrested for shoplifting.

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