The Mastery of Love | Miguel Ruiz

Summary of: The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship –Toltec Wisdom Book
By: Miguel Ruiz


Embark on a journey to strengthen the most important aspect of your life: your relationships. In “The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship – Toltec Wisdom Book” by Miguel Ruiz, learn how to heal emotional wounds and forge stronger connections with others. The book explores the accumulation of emotional wounds starting from childhood, the importance of taking responsibility for one’s happiness, selecting partners without feeling the need to change them, and the impact of societal expectations on sexuality. Discover the transformative power of truth, forgiveness, and self-love in forging healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Emotional Poison: The Wounds That Rule Our Lives

The book delves into the concept of emotional poison and how it infects the human mind, resulting in emotional wounds. Don Miguel refers to the human mind as the emotional body, which is full of wounds infected by the emotional poison we call fear. The emotional wounds start to appear when we’re around three or four years old and accumulate as we grow and learn from adults who have long been infected by emotional poison. These fears create images of ourselves to project at school, home, and work, causing immense pain when they are challenged. The book emphasizes that these relationships between ourselves and the world in childhood rule our lives, causing us to suffer.

Emotional Poison: The Real Cause of Poor Relationships

Childhood experiences can have a profound impact on our emotional well-being, affecting our relationships in adulthood. Accumulated emotional poison can cause people to lash out, leading to abusive relationships. This emotional poison can be transferred from person to person, causing relationships to deteriorate over time. The key to overcoming emotional poison is to acknowledge its existence and work on becoming aware of it.

Love and the Illusion of Happiness

A man who doesn’t believe in love meets a woman who is crying because she doesn’t believe in love. They become best friends and are happy together, but the man mistakenly tries to give the woman his happiness in the form of a star. The star shatters, and they become distant. The author suggests that we often expect our partner to make us happy, but this is impossible. Only we can be responsible for our own happiness.

Love or Fear: Choose Your Relationship Track

Every relationship operates on either the track of love or fear. The track of fear is characterized by obligations and expectations that lead to resentment, resistance, and suffering. In contrast, the track of love is free from obligations and expectations. To master a relationship, you must catch yourself when you’re on the track of fear and shift onto the track of love. By doing so, you’ll be free to share, enjoy, and create together without the need to control your partner.

In his book, the author explains that every relationship is a two-person affair, and each person is only responsible for their half. However, many people tend to control their partners, and this behavior stems from fear rather than love. Relationships can either be on the track of fear or on the track of love. The former is filled with obligations and expectations, leading to resentment, resistance, and pain. The latter is characterized by freedom, both for yourself and your partner. On the track of love, there are no obligations or expectations, and every action is done because one wants to do it. No one feels attacked, and no one is in pain.

The author emphasizes the significance of being aware of these two tracks. By understanding the difference, you can shift from the track of fear to the track of love, allowing you to master your half of the relationship. This shift will bring an end to the need for control in your relationship, making room for sharing, creating, and enjoying your moments together.

In summary, the track of love lets you experience the best of the relationship with your partner while the track of fear can only lead to suffering.

Love Someone for Who They Are

Choose a partner who doesn’t need to change.

Pets, like dogs, are perfect for their owners just the way they are. So why do people try to change those they’re in a relationship with? The answer, according to this book, is that every person is already perfect – they might just not be perfect for you. To find the right partner, you need to be aware of your own needs and be honest with yourself about them. You also need to accept and love yourself for who you are before you can do the same for your partner. If you find yourself in a dysfunctional relationship, walking away will ultimately do both you and your partner a favor. By choosing a partner who you don’t feel the need to change, you’re allowing them to be themselves and finding love for who they truly are.

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